The Daily Prompt: Panoply

“I wonder what’s on this channel”

Actor 1: *BEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP*

audience laughs

Actor 2: *BEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEP BEEP**

“Well that’s a shame.”

“That must’ve been a  inventive panoply of insults”

Panoply

The Daily Prompt: Panoply

 

 

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Apocalypse

“Whats the word for apocalypse but it arrives every month?”

“Although I stand with my opinion that ‘apocalypse’ is still the right word because it’s like facing it for the first time even though you’ve had it pretty much your whole life.”

“Would it kill mother nature to just make our thumbs green if we weren’t pregnant?”

“Is all this drama and war really necessary?”

“And suddenly I wish I was pregnant for nine months so I don’t need to go through 9 apocalypses. However I’m also sure that this will last until the apocalypse is over.”

“Why does hormones make me want love and chocolate?”

“Why can’t I crave productivity and self esteem instead?”

“Why is there no Conjuring movies about the exorcism in my uterus? The world needs to know that this is a serious problem.”

“The world knows. It’s just that its ‘natural’, which it is but I need to wallow in self pity okay that’s why I have a WordPress account.”

“I have an ouchie in my coochie.”

Image Credits:  http://media.indiatimes.in/media/content/2015/Oct/46946ef4227cec935ffaecc4f4a1e1e93c29e77c924af3dc2af5ecaea8ef41d7_1-e1429361775135_1444717822.jpg

 

 

 

A Bad Day

(Talks to myself)

“So I was late to work and then some idiot scratched my car and then I slipped and fell at the lobby. If that wasn’t enough then here’s more! I made a mistake while calculating the cost and my boss was on the verge of firing me and I’m glad I still have my job. I went to grab lunch and this dude got my order wrong and I had to get back to work so I skipped lunch and then after work I came home only to find that the neighbour’s dog had peed in front of the door. Why today?  Why did all of this have to happen today? And if that wasn’t enough it started raining so my cable connection got fucked up so now I’m sitting in my living room just staring at the ceiling.”

*laughs *

Image Credits :  http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/261217482074?_mwBanner=1

What If I Don’t Deserve This?

“You’re so good at dancing! You should become a dancer.”

“I guess so. But I’m not that good. To you… Maybe. ”

“So what if they’re better? You want this as much as they do right? ”

” I do.”

“So what’s stopping you then? ”

“What if I don’t deserve this? ”

Image Credits :  http://www.postersandprintsblog.com/postersandprintsblog/2013/5/14/marco-mazzoni-self-esteem-triptych-available.html

 

I Don’t Want To Do Something That I Hate

“Ugh. I hate my job. I hate the people I work with and I hate the atmosphere of the entire building.”

“Change your job then.”

“You know that I need the money.”

“Do you hate your job because it chose you instead of giving you the opportunity to explore your options? ”

“I guess so, yes. I’m so frustrated and I just don’t want to do something that I hate. ”

“Are you really going to let your stinky job win over you? ”

” What do you mean?”

“Think about it this way. You really hate your job right? Then why would you let it get to you? Think about how stupid your job would feel if it knew that you don’t give a rats ass about it. You job wants you to feel miserable, so why would you give it what it wants the most ? ”

Huh, you’re right.”

Image Credits :  http://s3.amazonaws.com/jobmake/signs-i-need-a-new-job.html

 

It Is How It Is

” Yesterday was so bad. I spoke to this girl and I sounded so stupid. Heck, even I couldn’t listen to what I was saying. ”

“But it was better than talking to that cashier at the supermarket. ”

“It was. No doubt.”

“See? The more effort you make on talking to people, the less intimidating it seems. ”

“True. But think about it, in order to avoid Satan, you have to go to hell and back. That makes no sense.”

“It is how it is. ”

Image Credits :

 

Stress Eating

“What do mean you stress eat? You mean like you eat a donut if your dog poops on the carpet and eat 3 large pepperoni pizzas if your boss threatens to fire you? Lol you’re funny. ”

” It’s more like meeting your mother in law when you’re not even married.”

“Oh mother in laws are the worst. That’s the equivalent of 5 burgers and large fries… from a fast food joint that doesn’t exist. Haha! ”

“I’m serious. I just wanted to talk to someone about it. ”

“Oh cmon you know that it’s all in your head. Don’t search for excuses. ”

“You know what else I eat when I’m stressed? ”

“What? ”

“Ignorant human jerky. It’s best served with some stigma while still hot. ”

Image Credits :  http://www.onefootontheground.com/page/7/